Friday, February 19, 2010

What The Hell Were They Thinking?!

Children are amazing. As any parent out there will tell you, they never cease to amaze you. Often times it is just something as simple as a smile that catches you off guard, of perhaps they snuck a cookie from the jar or ate a dog biscuit. Kids are so eager to learn about the world around them, that they don't let societal rules and regulations stop them from their quest for knowledge. Sometimes it is a crazy thing that the ankle bitter will say that just cracks  you up or embarrasses the hell out of you (like the other day while at the grocery store my son says rather loudly, "Mommy, did you fart?"). Or maybe you are shocked when you discover that your son took a pair of scissors and cut his own hair and applied your new lipstick to the walls for good measure. Kids are incredible!

The most recent case of What The Hell Were They Thinking happened just yesterday. Twice in fact. Once from my son and the other time courtesy of my daughter.
With Sebastian it went something like this.....I went into the powder room to use the facilities and was overcome by the strong smell of urine. I had cleaned the bathroom just a few short hours before, so knew that it wasn't dirty. I checked Gabriella's potty to see if it was full and it was not. I sniffed around and found the source of the stink to be coming from the waste basket. I stuck my head in there and was nearly knocked over by the stench. I looked closer and noticed the tissues in it were all wet. I pulled one out and sure enough it was saturated with pee! I then asked my little girl "Gaby did you empty your potty into the garbage can?" She innocently and honestly replied "No Mommy" then looked at her brother. Sebastian slowly started to slink behind a pillow on the sofa. "Sebastian, did Gaby put pee in the garbage can?" The answer I got was a whine, or sound similar to a cat meowing. "Sebastian, did you empty the potty into the garbage?". He hides even further into the sofa, now covering himself with two big pillows.  "Sebastian, did you pee in the garbage can?". "Yes" said his tiny little voice from underneath his protective cover of pillows. WTF! Now if he were 2 or 3 years old, I could excuse such behavior, but this boy is 6! After my tirade about not peeing anywhere but in the toilet, he helped me clean the mess and life went back to normal.

Just a few hours later, when my husband returned home from work, we were in the kitchen preparing dinner. As I was setting the table I overheard Gabriella talking to her daddy about her day and what not, when all of a sudden I heard "Eeeeewwww Penisssss!". I turned around to see what was going on and found my husband slapping her hand away from his crotch! I asked Corrado what she did and he said, face all ashen and visibly shaken,  that she reached her tiny little hand out and cupped his family jewels and said "Eeeeeewwwww Penis!". My husband looked as though he had seen a ghost. He was so disturbed that I had to pour him a glass of wine!

Like I said, kids never cease to amaze me. The things they do and say are always worth keeping a record of....great black mail material for their hormone driven teen years!


  1. I laughed. I think I may have wet myself a little. :-) Enjoying the blog LA.

  2. Ha! Ha! Kids are perpetually astounding! It takes brave people to be parents. That and lots of wine! ;-)