Wednesday, August 18, 2010
The Hubby and I were invited to a wedding that was to take place at the end of August. Today we received word that the wedding had been canceled. Everyone was shocked at first, but then the rumor mill started churning and shared their theories as to why the bride bumped the groom. "He slept with her sister", "She screwed the best man" or "He beat her". All very good reasons to call off the wedding.
The cancellation of what should have been this couples happiest day in their life turned into a bit of a circus. I must admit, that I too 'wondered' what went wrong. I then spent a little too much time thinking of reasons why I would have canceled my wedding. I had never really thought about it before, I never had reason to. I guess if I decided to marry a different man that I may have found myself in a similar situation.
So another woman's pain resulted in this list that I compiled of reasons why I would cancel my wedding.
1. He starts wearing your fancy dresses and refers to himself as Beth. At that point you should seriously consider whether your man wants to be your man.
2. Your man has more intimate time with himself than he does you. This is a good warning sign that your sex life may not be acceptable....or he is into himself way to much.
3. He spends way too much time playing fantasy games on the net. Seriously, if he thinks he is a dragon slayer, move away from him!
4. Temper! Temper! If you find that your potential spouse has an explosive temper be cautious. Does he act out violently? Does he do crazy things when he is angry like driving recklessly and showing obvious signs of road rage? Does he rant and rave when his favorite team loses the game? Well, that guy needs to see a professional and learn to control his anger....you are not that professional, walk away.
5. Kills your self esteem. If you find that your man constantly puts you down from everything to how you dress to the way you cook, you may want to put up your radar. Guys who feel the need to knock you down a notch or two very rarely will treat you with respect. You need to take control and put him in his place the first time he does this, if he does not like being told off then remember he is likely embarrassed of his manhood and you just don't need that bullshit.
6. Paranoia. Does he call you constantly throughout the day? Does he always question who you are with? Does he believe that the government is watching his every move? This is the kind of guy who will notice the type of mud on your car and grill you about why you were in a location where mud like that could have got on your car. He will follow you, check your email and voicemail. If your mates jealously and lack of trust are causing problems before you say I Do, then you need to evaluate whether losing your freedom and yourself are worth it.
7. He is a Mama's Boy. You know the guy, the one that needs to visit his Mommy daily. She still cooks for him and even does his laundry if you won't do it. This is also a double whammy because this guy will likely have a controlling mother and she likes that he still relies on her. Remember when you get married you marry your spouses family as well. If this guy spends way too much time focusing on what his mommy wants and she calls your house daily to remind you of his favorite foods, I suggest you proceed with caution.
8. Cheater! If he has cheated on you once, it is very highly likely that he will do it again. If you forgave him for a past trist he will think that you are somewhat accepting and cool and try to repeat the bad behavior again. If the bugger screws another woman before you marry that should be your cue to walk away and not look back.
9. The very sight of him makes you ill! If the man that you once found so desirable, the man that made your heart beat faster, the guy who's smile you could not live without seeing daily starts to turn your stomach the minute he walks through the door, then you've got a problem!
10. He is unstable both emotionally and financially. Often these two issues go hand in hand. With some hard work and maybe a bit of luck, he can turn his financial instability around. But if he is just a lazy bastard who does not want to work and would rather sponge off of you then you have a problem. If he displays signs of being emotionally unstable such as being verbally or physically abusive walk away. Perhaps his problems are a little less severe, such as having a two way conversation with himself several times a day, he dresses his dog in a tuttu or thinks getting a tattoo on his face just like Mike Tyson, then he is a nut job. Cut your losses and save your sanity and bank account.
Marriage is a deep and binding contract that two people should not enter into lightly. You must both be ready to share every aspect of your lives together. Being married means loving your mate even if they are a bit odd. Trusting that his side glances at the blonde waitress will never amount to anything. Knowing that he will always put you first, respect you, understand you and be your best friend.