Friday, August 26, 2011
I have a subscription to Women's Health magazine. Every month I like to torture myself with useless information about losing weight, eating healthy and having great sex. Seriously, every single article is the same over every issue, just worded differently! Yet still I read this rag hoping to learn something new. I wait for that light bulb moment when I can say "That I can do!".
The latest issue of Women's Health magazine had an article in it that just rubbed me the wrong way. I could not help but read it and actually laugh out load all while belittling its author. No offense lady, but really....really? The article is 10 Secrets of Super Happy Couples.
Naturally being a married woman I read this article and immediately formed my own opinions. Join me in rehashing this morsel of stupidity and tell me your opinions!
1. Pretend You Just Met - "Whether you've been together for six months or six years, spend some time each day acting as if you just started dating". My opinion: the dating days were not all that fun. Why would I want to revisit them? They were filled with uncertainty and neediness and heart break. Sure the very first few months of a new relationship may be wrought with sexual tension and exploration, but that quickly fades then you find you really don't like that guy. If you do stay and decide you like him then that is awesome! I was much happier and confident in my relationship after time passed. I figured that if he could tolerate me for this long , he must be a keeper. Then I relaxed and could be myself!
2. Limit Chick Flicks - "Romantic comedies can set up unreasonable expectations, which may lead to unnecessary suffering," says Sean Patrick Hatt, Ph.D., a psychologist in Seattle. My opinion: No shit batman! Seriously who the hell calls up a guy she just started dating to come over only to subject him to these sappy movies. If you think that you are feeding him ideas about how to be romantic and a good man, you are not. You would be better off showing him super hero movies! If you are trying to get him in the mood rent porn. Chick flicks are just lame.
3. Be Beauty to His Beast - "Coupling up with an average Joe (with a beer belly) may be the key to long-term love"....My opinion: Was I just told to find an ugly guy? Most men are average Joe's they just come in different shapes and sizes. It shouldn't matter if he looks like Brad Pitt and you look like a junkie street walking whore! If he likes you and you look like him all is good. Don't lower your expectations just because you thing you have a better chance at keeping a guy.
4. Control the Boozing - "Partyers may be more likely to have commitment issues to begin with, and once they couple up their bonds may be unstable." My opinion: I can actually agree with this. Back in my dating days I had a few booze fueled relationships that inevitably went nowhere. Looking back I realize that not one occasion went by where booze was not involved with some of these guys. I never had a chance to see the sober guy, maybe he would not have been so much fun, maybe he would not have slept with my friend if we weren't all drunk!
5. Hold a Grudge - "Provided that your partner is able to bounce back from spats, you'll experience greater satisfaction, even if you tend to stay P.O.'d". My opinion: I just don't get this one. Seems rather conflicting from what most of us have been told about keeping relationships happy. "Never go to bed mad" we've been told. Isn't a grudge just an extension of anger. So which is it, settle the dispute and let things go or hang on to it and poison the relationship. I guess it all depends on what the spat was about in the first place. If he left the cap off the toothpaste again...get over it. If he gambled away the money for your mortgage hold a grudge!
6. Tweet Responsibly - "Avid tweeters tend to have shorter relationships". My opinion: Another point that I agree with (which came as a big surprise to me as I never agree with this stuff). Nothing pisses me off more that trying to hold a conversation with a person all while they keep glancing at their iPhone or ask me to wait while they quickly Tweet! My blood just boils. Another thing that I commonly see is that women often Tweet about their partner and sometimes they make their man look like total douche bags....just sayin'.
7. Don't Win an Oscar - "A Best Actress winner is 63 percent more likely to have her marriage end before her category mates do". My opinion: WTF! Are you serious! If a man does not have enough self worth, self respect and self assurance to have a woman who may earn more money and be more successful than he is, then clearly that powerful woman should not be with that loser. This tidbit while at the very end says to "Encourage and celebrate each other's successes, big and small" is completely correct, it also dangerously implies that as a woman you should strive for mediocrity if you want to keep a man!
8. Burn Bras Together - "Women whose male partner is a feminist report better relationship quality". My opinion: I am a touch old fashioned. I like my man to be a touch boarish. I don't want to be treated like crap, but I don't want him to be a feminist pussy who's afraid to speak his mind for fear of offending the feminist me. I have no problem with a woman fighting for equality and rites, but when a feminist starts taking it to the extreme like bitching about terms such as "fireman" or "man hole cover" I don't respect them. Even worse is the wimpy guy standing right behind her agreeing with her stupidity. I think it should be a two way street, he should respect you as a woman and you should respect him as a man.
9. Nurture you friends Relationship - "Some people may see another's divorce as permission to change their own life," My opinion: Stay out of other peoples business. If your best friends marriage is on the rocks be supportive of her, but don't try to mend it! Just turn all of your good intentions onto your own relationship because that is the only one that matters. Often we become so wrapped up in other peoples problems that we neglect our own relationships.
10. Twist the Sheets at Least Once a Week- "Couples who like each other end up in bed more often." My opinion: Oh how nice would that be. In order for this to happen though I would have to wake at 2 am and jump him. Sure sex is important to keeping a marriage strong and happy. But sometimes our expectations just do not meet the reality that is our life. Many couples find it difficult to make time for nookie when they have kids always buzzing around, work and household obligations to meet. Often exhaustion trying to meet those needs sets in. Sometimes sacrificing 30 minutes of pleasure for 30 minutes of extra sleep is just way more appealing.
What are your secrets to staying a happy couple?