DIY Sharpie Mugs

I recently discovered the Sharpie mug craze. I will admit, I am eager to jump on the band wagon. I love simple crafts like this that are cheap, easy and can say so much with little expense or effort. These mugs are great for kids who want their own personal mug for hot chocolate or need to give their favourite teacher a Christmas gift. 

So I have decided to give it a go. I read somewhere along the way that the usual suggested 30 minutes of baking wasn't enough, that doing so for an hour would ensure the permanency of the ink. I am first going to try the basic black sharpie and bake for an hour. Then I will wash it both by hand and dishwasher, microwave it, bleach it. See if it truly is permanent. 

I found other suggestions that might work better as well. Apparently Sharpie has oil based markers, and the ones in metallic work well. I am going to pick one up as well and write on the other side of my test mug to see which marker holds up.

Wish me luck! I am not a crafty lady but I think I can actually pull this off.

Here is a link to a great blog that offered good tips for the project.

http://thegoldjellybean.com/2013/01/testing-out-diy-sharpie-mugs.html

Ciao for now!

Lee-Ann

When S*#%! Hits The Fan

It's been a while. I've been caught up in life and the bumps in the road along the way. Some where small, while others where bottomless pits of angst and....well, you get the idea.

I won't go into all the gory details, but I will say this....the grass always looks greener on the other side because you don't have to mow it. 

Think about that.

Why Some People Should Not Be Parents

It is no secret  that parenting is a tough job. I would like to think that many of us who chose to become parents did not go into it blindly and expect it to be a cake walk, to smell like a bed of roses. Quite frankly it is often like walking on egg shells and reeks of shit! But if you are a good parent (not perfect...perfect parents do not exist and don't let anyone tell you otherwise) you know there will be challenges and you opt to make decisions that are in the best interest of your kids. You feed them a healthy diet, you provide them with all the necessities of life. Discipline is difficult but you do it because you know it will help your child to grow and become a responsible adult. You love you kids unconditionally. They are your world, your light, your everything. You would do anything (within reason) for your children. You do not abuse them physically or emotionally. You shower them with attention and affection. These actions and choices make you a good parent. Sure we often catch ourselves making poor parenting choices, but being the good person that  you are, you make sure it doesn't happen again. Your a good parent.

Then you watch the news and stumble through blogs and social media and are astounded that there are a large number of people out there that are just Horrible parents. Period. Too many to mention, too many to dwell on. From the idiot Mom who leaves her sleeping infant in the car seat while she goes shopping for 3 hours in sweltering heat, to the Dad who beats his toddler to the point that he suffers severe brain damage. There are way too many of these horror stories floating around out there. Which brings me to my next examples of poor parenting ( or just plain dumb ass people ). We have all seen photos like this on the internet. But I thought I would share a few with you anyway, just to drive home the point that some people are just crappy parents.

I am sure that the parents who took some of these photos thought it was cute or funny that the kid was playing with a bong or guns. Its all right to smoke a giant doobie while your kid sits on your shoulders...isn't it? It was funny putting the baby in the microwave. NOT! I firmly believe that people need to be licensed to have children.

10 Secrets of Super Happy Couples......Really?

I have a subscription to Women's Health magazine. Every month I like to torture myself with useless information about losing weight, eating healthy and having great sex. Seriously, every single article is the same over every issue, just worded differently! Yet still I read this rag hoping to learn something new. I wait for that light bulb moment when I can say "That I can do!".

The latest issue of Women's Health magazine had an article in it that just rubbed me the wrong way. I could not help but read it and actually laugh out load all while belittling its author. No offense lady, but really....really? The article is 10 Secrets of Super Happy Couples.

Naturally being a married woman I read this article and immediately formed my own opinions. Join me in rehashing this morsel of stupidity and tell me your opinions!

1. Pretend You Just Met - "Whether you've been together for six months or six years, spend some time each day acting as if you just started dating".  My opinion: the dating days were not all that fun.  Why would I want to revisit them? They were filled with uncertainty and neediness and heart break. Sure the very first few months of a new relationship may be wrought with sexual tension and exploration, but that quickly fades then you find you really don't like that guy. If you do stay and decide you like him then that is awesome!  I was much happier and confident in my relationship after time passed. I figured that if he could tolerate me for this long , he must be a keeper. Then I relaxed and could be myself!

2. Limit Chick Flicks - "Romantic comedies can set up unreasonable expectations, which may lead to unnecessary suffering," says Sean Patrick Hatt, Ph.D., a psychologist in Seattle.  My opinion: No shit batman! Seriously who the hell calls  up a guy she just started dating to come over only to subject him to these sappy movies. If you think that you are feeding him ideas about how to be romantic and a good man, you are not. You would be better off showing  him super hero movies! If you are trying to get him in the mood rent porn. Chick flicks are just lame.

3. Be Beauty to His Beast - "Coupling up with an average Joe (with a beer belly) may be the key to long-term love"....My opinion:  Was I just told to find an ugly guy? Most men are average Joe's they just come in different shapes and sizes.  It shouldn't  matter if he looks like Brad Pitt and you look like a junkie street walking whore! If he likes you and you look like him all is good. Don't lower your expectations just because you thing you have a better chance at keeping a guy.

4. Control the Boozing - "Partyers may be more likely to have commitment issues to begin with, and once they couple up their bonds may be unstable."  My opinion:  I can actually agree with this. Back in my dating days I had a few booze fueled relationships that inevitably went nowhere. Looking back I realize that not one occasion went by where booze was not involved with some of these guys. I never had a chance to see the sober guy, maybe he would not have been so much fun, maybe he would not have slept with my friend if we weren't all drunk!

5. Hold a Grudge - "Provided that your partner is able to bounce back from spats, you'll experience greater satisfaction, even if you tend to stay P.O.'d".  My opinion: I just don't get this one. Seems rather conflicting from what most of us have been told about keeping relationships happy. "Never go to bed mad" we've been told. Isn't a grudge  just an extension of anger. So which is it, settle the dispute and let things go or hang on to it and poison the relationship. I guess it all depends on what the spat was about in the first place. If he left the cap off the toothpaste again...get over it. If  he gambled away the money for your mortgage hold a grudge!

6. Tweet Responsibly - "Avid tweeters tend to have shorter relationships".  My opinion: Another point that I  agree with (which came as a big surprise to me as I never agree with this stuff). Nothing pisses me off more that trying to hold a conversation with a person all while they keep glancing at their iPhone or ask me to wait while they quickly Tweet! My blood just boils. Another thing that I commonly see is that women often Tweet about their partner and sometimes they make their man look like total douche bags....just sayin'.

7. Don't Win an Oscar - "A Best Actress winner is 63 percent more likely to have her marriage end before her category mates do".  My opinion: WTF! Are you serious! If a man does not have enough self worth, self respect and self assurance to have a woman who may earn more money and be more successful than he is, then clearly that powerful woman should not be with that loser. This tidbit while at the very end says to "Encourage and celebrate each other's successes, big and small" is completely correct, it also dangerously implies that as a woman you should strive for mediocrity if you want to keep a man!


8. Burn Bras Together - "Women whose male partner is a feminist report better relationship quality". My opinion:  I am a touch old fashioned. I like my man to be a touch boarish. I don't want to be treated like crap, but I don't want him to be a  feminist pussy who's afraid to speak his mind for fear of offending the feminist me. I have no problem with a woman fighting for equality and rites, but when a feminist starts taking it to the extreme like bitching about terms such as "fireman" or "man hole cover" I don't respect them. Even worse is the wimpy guy standing right behind her agreeing with her stupidity. I think it should be a two way street, he should respect you as a woman and you should respect him as a man.
 
9. Nurture you friends Relationship - "Some people may see another's divorce as permission to change their own life,"  My opinion: Stay out of other peoples business. If your best friends marriage is on the rocks be supportive of her, but don't try to mend it! Just turn all of your good intentions onto your own relationship because that is the only one that matters. Often we become so wrapped up in other peoples problems that we neglect our own relationships.

10. Twist the Sheets at Least Once a Week- "Couples who like each other end up in bed more often."  My opinion: Oh how nice would that be. In order for this to happen though I would have to wake at 2 am and jump him. Sure sex is important to keeping a marriage strong and happy. But sometimes our expectations just do not meet the reality that is our life. Many couples find it difficult to make time for nookie when they have kids always buzzing around, work and household obligations to meet.  Often exhaustion trying to meet those needs sets in. Sometimes sacrificing 30 minutes of pleasure for 30  minutes of extra sleep is just way more appealing.

What are your secrets to staying a happy couple?

Wishing Summer Would End

I wish summer would end! I know what you are thinking, is this woman nuts? Well, yes, yes I am! Having my two cute but tiresome kids at home all to myself all summer is exhausting! Oh and the heat....holy cannoli!

Living here in Canada, where we have long cold winters, all I can do is whine about how freaking cold it is outside and how I long for warm summer days. But my love affair with the summer season comes to a bitter end usually by the time the first heat wave hits! Sadly, this summer has been nothing but a heat wave!

Like much of North America this has been one heck of a hot and humid summer so far. Nearly everyday is 29 or 30 then you factor in the humidity and you are close to 40! Humidity is not my friend! I am one of those gals who had the kind of  hair that looks like I stuck my tongue in a light socket while holding a fork into another socket at the same time. My poor daughter is also cursed with humidity hating hair. Then there is that almost oppressive air that comes with hot humid days, you know the days where a person with pretty good lungs even struggles to breath.

Bitching about the heat, humidity, dying grass and plants aside, I have also run out of ideas for entertaining my kids. I used up just about every activity and excursion in my arsenal. I even went camping and to Myrtle Beach! Two trips I really never wanted to do! If I had my way I would be sitting somewhere in the Amalfi Coast sipping Limoncello and watching attractive Italian men walk by.

As the final weeks of the kids summer vacation are coming to an end, I find that bit of excitement bubbling up inside me again. I no longer feel like a burnt out old hag who has seen way too many years. I feel somewhat rejuvenated! I started back to school shopping! While the cheap money pincher in me wants to save money, the trapped Mom in me wants to get all the things the kids need to go back to school. Never before has a pencil case looked so darned appealing! The smell of crayons is intoxicating, the sad look on my eldest childs face as he realizes that his summer fun is drawing to an end is priceless!!! Cruel, nah, just happy. I am happy to finally get a little bit of myself back when September arrives. Do I want cold weather, hell no! But I surely do not want to live in Hades either. I am a fall girl! I love the autumn. The cooler air, colors of the trees, pumpkins and the harvest...all of it. Bring on Autumn!!!

Summer School In Session

It is that time of year again where I am over joyed to have my babies home with me for 2 months. Of course that joy very quickly subsides to merely happy to see their dirty faces to down right annoyance by the middle of the first month!

One of the most difficult things a stay at home parent can do is try to entertain their children for the summer months all while trying to maintain some independance and sanity. I assure you this is no easy feat. This is the time of year when video games and television become a parents best friend. I remember when I was a kid, my mother just shoved us out the door and we only came into eat. We did not watch t.v. all day or nag our Mom to take us to indoor playgrounds or amusement parks, that stuff just did  not exist when I was a kid. While I would love to shove them outside for the day, lets face it times  have changed. I just won't let my 7 and 5 year old kids play outside without me be right out there with them. I try my best, but there is only so much water play, sidewalk chalk, scraped knee's and bugs that this old fart can handle.

One of the other challenges that parents face during the summer with their kids is keeping them educated. It is very easy for a young child to forget many important things that they learned during the school year fresh in their minds. This summer I am spending a great deal of time on the continuing education of my kids. My son who will be going into grade 2 is now reading on his own, but he is lazy. He would rather have me sit with him and sound words out for him than do it on his own. My daughter will be going into senior kindergarten and just started early reading programs at school. So far I have taken them to the bookstore to buy several books, each for their reading level and some story books as well. I found this neat little DIY book publisher kit at Chapters. It comes complete with 2 hard cover books that the child can write their own story in and do their own illustrations. My son loves to make up his own stories so I bought two of these kits. I have gone onto several websites looking for teaching tools to share with my kids over the summer. So far my favorite site has been The Teachers Corner . My son thinks that if he is not in school that he should not have to do homework....tough, I say. Then of course he says "Well you don't learn new things, you don't go to school". You know what he is right! I have not been in school for about 15 years now! I have taken a few courses here and there, but nothing too exciting.
 

So I made a deal with my son ( or perhaps the devil) that if he read 20 new books this summer that I would also learn to try to speak Italian, something I have wanted to do for the longest time. I purchased the Rosetta Stone Totale program and like my son have started working diligently at it.  The bonus with this program is that my children are drawn to it. They like to hear the Italian words spoken and they love the photos uses in the program. It just may be that my kids will learn some Italian this summer too! My son will be rewarded with a new Wii video game, and upon my completion of  Rosetta Stone, I will be traveling to Italy next summer hopefully armed with enough Italian for small conversation!

Who says summer vacation is just about beach days, bike riding, video games and television! It can also be a great opportunity to learn something new!

Family Fun - Arts and Craft for the Kids...and You!

Family Fun - Children's Activities - Arts and Crafts

by TK Healey


Family Fun - Children's Activities - Arts and Crafts



What are some fun ways to spend time together when the weather
outside is dreary? There are all kinds of inexpensive ways to
spend time with your kids. Reading a story to your young child
is a wonderful experience. Listening to music and dancing
together is also fun. Another fun activity is building forts
with blankets and moving furniture together. Then bring in a
flashlight and read a book to your child.



Play dough is also a nice creative way to spend time together.
Roll it, mold it and create great works of art. It's safe and
can be used over and over again. You can make your own play
dough and make different colors. Here is a great play dough
recipe I have used many times with my own kids.



4 cups flour



1 cup salt



4 cups water



4 tablespoons oil



1/2 cup cream of tartar food coloring (use this to create the
colors of your choice)



Mix all ingredients in a sauce pan. Cook and stir over
low/medium heat until play dough is completely formed and no
longer sticky. Allow to cool slightly before storing in an air
tight container or zip lock bag.



Shaving cream art is also fun and easy. Using a vinyl table
cloth or plastic placemats just spray some shaving cream on and
let them use like finger paint. I would recommend using the
sensitive skin brand of shaving cream. Another great favorite is
collages. You just need construction paper, some magazines,
elmer's glue and safety scissors. Have the children cut out
pictures of interest to them and glue them all over the
construction paper. Once their project dries hang proudly on
your fridge.



Make a dreary day into a fun and exciting day with your child.






Source: http://www.PopularArticles.com/article10632.html

A Child's 10 Commandments To Parents

This year the Ontario government introduced the full day  kindergarten program. Across the province about 600 schools are offering this new play based learning program to children entering junior and senior kindergarten. In the past the school that my children attend the program was daily for half day, which was perfectly fine for me and my little man (who is now in grade 1). I was torn about whether Gaby should attend full time JK in the fall. I felt she wasn't ready, that she was too young. Basically it all boiled down to this mother having a hard time letting go of her youngest child. I honestly felt as though the government was robbing me of my precious time with my daughter. I chose to be a SAHM so I could spend more time with my kids, then when the government designated our school as a full time kindergarten facility I was heartbroken.

Now that we are a couple of weeks into the new school year and my little angel seems to be getting along just fine I am slowly accepting the fact that my home is quiet and child free for 9 hours a day! What also made me feel better about handing my last born child over to the education system was this little paper that Gaby brought home from school the other day. I read it and tears welled up in my eyes but my heart filled with pride that my little girl is growing up and becoming a lovely, intelligent young lady.

A Child's 10 Commandments To Parents

1. Please don't expect Perfection. My hands are small. Whenever I make a bed, draw a picture or throw a ball it may not be perfect. My legs are short; please slow down so that I can keep up with you.

2. Let me Explore safely. My eyes have not seen the world as yours have; don't restrict me unnecessarily.

3. I am only little for a short time. Housework will always be there. Make time for me.

4. Explain things to me. Take time to explain things to me about this wonderful world and do so willingly.

5. My feelings are Tender. Please be sensitive to my needs; don't nag me all day long. Treat me as you would like to be treated. I will learn how to treat people from your example.

6. I am a special gift from God. Please treasure me a God intended you to do. Hold me accountable for my actions, give me guidelines to live by and discipline me in a loving manner.

7. Encourage me so I may grow. Please go easy on the criticism; remember, you can criticize the things I do without criticizing me.

8. Please, give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself. Permit me to fail, so that I can learn from my mistakes. Then, someday, I will be prepared to make the kind of decisions life requires me to make.

9. Please don't do things over for me. Somehow that makes me feel that my efforts don't quite measure up to your expectations. I know it's hard, but please don't try to compare me with my brother or sister or other children.

10. Please love me unconditionally as I love you without any strings attached.

10 Reasons to Buy the Shark Steam Pocket Mop (as determined by a 6 year old)

There is nothing more entertaining than watching a young child get excited about something. It can be anything, a new toy, a funny joke or watching their mother slip on a wet floor and fall on her ass. The way they light up when they find something interesting and exciting is priceless. Lately my son Sebastian has been thrilled by a product that he see's on the television.

My eldest has always been an early riser. He usually gets up 30 minutes to an hour before I do. Now that he is 6 years old and has figured out how to work the remote (which is a tale for another entry) he comes downstairs and turns on the television. Over that last month or so he has been watching infomercials. His favorite infomercial is for the Shark Steam Pocket Mop. He watches it nearly every day and the minute I  step into the room he will have given me 10 reasons why I must get the steam pocket mop. So I would like to share with you his reasons for shelling out way too much money for a glorified swiffer sweeper.

10 Reasons to Buy the Shark Steam Pocket Mop (as determined by a 6 year old)

1. You don't need to use smelly stuff that can make you sick.
2. It really cleans and makes stuff less germy.
3. It dries fast so I can walk on the floor instead of waiting forever....sheessh...
4. It has three pads to clean the whole house, really you can keep changing them (great...)
5. It has a carpet glider to make the carpets fresh. It will get rid of the dogs smelly butt.
6. It is not heavy and you don't have to carry a big bowl of water and a stinky mop!
7. I can even use it ( be my guest dear...)
8. It has a really long cord, but be careful that you don't trip on it. Your kinda clumsy.
9. It would make cleaning the house easier and I know you don't like to clean much (gee thanks kid)
10. Mark (the guy selling this contraption) says I have to get it!

If you ask me they all seem like really good reasons to dish out $130 for a steaming sweeper. Sebastian's pitch was so good that I did in fact go out and buy one of these mops! I took him to Canadian Tire with me and let him pick one and pay for it. He promised me that he would help me clean the house if I let him use it. He stuck to his promise, once. I will say though that out of all the drivel that is sold on T.V. today, I do like this one. Not like the Slap Chop and Magic Bullet that my husband was conned into buying....Hey, have you noticed a theme here...the men in my life watch way too much television let alone infomercials. Also I can't help to notice that all the gadgets they want are all really for me to make my life easier (according to their logic). Wow! Do I wish they would invent the machine that would wash dishes, fold laundry and give foot massages easier for the husband!

Before Marriage and Children - I had fun

You often hear how life drastically changes once you have children. I am here to say Damn Skippy it Does!
I have never been the type of person who dwells in the past. Often times the past is best forgotten. Other times I will look through old photos and be reminded of how slim I was, or how much energy I appeared to have.

Recently I was reminded of how carefree and crazy I used to be in my 20's. While speaking to an old friend (who is unmarried and has no kids) she mentioned how much I seemed to have changed. She reminded me how much fun I used to be back in the day of too much booze and not a care in the world.

I have to admit, speaking to this old friend made me feel a bit envious of her. She enjoys the ability to come and go as she pleases. She does not have to worry about scheduling her day around children. Hearing her tales of adventure as a single woman made me long for my youth. And as most mothers do, I compiled a list. Of course this list was not for chores to be done or for the groceries, it was a list of the things I miss about being a single woman with no kids.

1. Late Nights. I would come home from work or my college classes, take a nap, eat greasy pizza and head out again around 11pm only to come home around 4am. These days if I want to stay up past 10pm I need to consume 10 shots of espresso.

2. Freedom. Before I had children I was able to do what ever I wanted when I wanted. I did not have to answer to anybody. If I wanted to take a spur of the moment trip to New York I could. If I wanted to go out with the girls for drinks after work I could. If I wanted to walk around the house butt naked I could. Now I always have to answer to somebody. I always have to think about the needs of my kids and husband before my own selfish fanciful dreams. Freakin' family stole my freedom!

3. Shopping. I remember when shopping used to be fun. Those days of leisurely strolling through the mall trying on endless outfits are long gone. Now I move with military precision through the mall only heading to the shops I know have what I want. I don't try clothes on anymore. I buy them and pray they fit!

4. Illness. As a mother you can't afford to be sick, at least I can't. My household grinds to a halt if I do not function at 100%. If God forbid, I get sick, I need to suck it up and continue about my day as though I am not bleeding from my eyeballs. I miss being able to just lie in bed bitching and moaning and not being bothered by a soul.

5. Bathroom visits. Before kids I would go to the bathroom freely to answer natures call. Now all of the bodily functions seem to shut down the minute I hear the door knob jiggle or the inevitable Mommy being whined on the other side of the door. The bathroom has also become a place to hide from my family. If I need a moment to calm down or rest I head for the loo and lock the door. Of course the solitude only lasts for a few moments before they come calling!

6. Sex. I miss it. I miss being spontaneous with my husband. Nothing worse than planning your sex life around bedtime and wake up time. No more quickies in the morning unless we get up at 4am, which quite frankly is not going to  happen!

7. Dancing.  Oh how I loved to dance. I used to spend 3 nights a week in the clubs just dancing, drinking and flirting with men. Now the only dancing I do is with the vacum cleaner.

8. T.V.  Before the kids came along I used to watch whatever fancied me in the boob tube. Not that I ever bothered much with television before I was married, but with time I became a tube junkie just like Hubby. When the t.v. is on during the day it is usually tuned into some horrible childrens channel like Tree House, Disney or YTV. There are only so many episodes of Dora the Explorer any sane person can handle. How I long for the evenings when the kids are sound asleep so that I can get just one measly hour of vile useless television viewing in!

9. Housekeeping. How I long for the days when I would just leave a trail of clothes through my apartment, let the cat hair on the sofa pile up or leave dishes in the sink overnight. Since becoming a wife and mother I have been forced into cooking, cleaning, doing laundry. It all sucks. Really sucks. Some days I would just love to take a match to the house and make all of it just disappear.

10. Sleep. The best for last. I recall a time when I would go to be when I really wanted and would wake when I really wanted (except for those shitty weekdays when I had to work because some old fart told me I needed to be responsible). I have not slept past 6am in over 6 years. I want to cry for all of those lost hours of sweet sweet slumber.

I am sure that I could go on for pages with this post, but in the interest of keeping my readers interest I will end my sorry dwelling on what was and focus on the ray of light that has become my life. While I may miss those small freedoms, dancing and sleep, I would not trade it for anything in the world. There is nothing more satisfying and rewarding at the end of  the day then when you are told "I love you Mommy" just because. Nothing better than seeing their bright eyed anticipation when I enter a room. I'd give up a lifetime of sleep just to see my children smile.....maybe.

When Laziness Gets In the Way

I have to admit something very personal, it is something I am not proud of, I AM LAZY!
That's right, LAZY!

I often find myself dreaming up wonderful crafts to do with the kids, but often they never come to fruition. Why? Laziness. I don't feel like purchasing the supplies to do the craft. I would rather watch a movie with the kids than have to clean up the mess that would surely be involved in said craft making venture.

Not only does my laziness prevent me from being a good mother, wife and housekeeper, but it also gets in the way of my one true hobby, photography. As a budding photographer I have snapped hundreds, if not thousands of photos over the years. In the beginning I was 'gung ho' to get the photos developed. I filled at least 30 albums. As time passes though I find my interest in developing the images has waned.

The walls of my family room are a dedicated showcase for my photographs. 90% of those photos are of family or special places we have visited. Recently I was going through my deep archives of pictures on the computer and came across quite a few images that have not been printed and that should be on display in my home. I was embarrassed. One picture in particular is loved by so many family members who have seen it on Flickr, but I was too lazy to give them prints. I don't even have a print, not even a small one.

So I have vowed to get off my lazy ass and get multiple prints of this photo printed. I will also spend quite a bit of money to get 500 more photos printed. This sounds excessive, but when your a 'photographer' it is the least you should do!

Adventures in Italy - Driving

There are so many things to love about Italy. The food, shopping, architecture and history make visiting Italy repeatedly all worthwhile. But, and this is a big but, the driving leaves you with a really bad taste in your mouth (a mix of bile and blood from biting your tongue and being frightened).

When we visit Italy we like to rent a car for a few reasons. We do a lot of traveling and enjoy the freedom to do so without having to worry about schedules etc. The moment my husband steps behind the wheel of a car in Italy I see a change come over him. He becomes intense, on edge. He never smiles, never seems to enjoy himself. I am always amazed at the litany of foul words that spew from his otherwise polite mouth.

There is something about driving in Italy that requests that you have some level of insanity to deal with the streets and the folk who drive on them. Of course driving in big cities like Rome, Napoli or Palermo is always worse. The congestion is just mind boggling. Some streets are so narrow that barely two motorcycles can pass each other, but these roads are used by cars. We scraped our car mirrors twice, once in the medieval streets of Ragusa while looking for parking, and once in Napoli while a bus tried to pass us. Cars weave in and out of traffic with little regard for those surrounding them. If you are a pedestrian trying to cross the street, say your prayers and be quick and observant. I can assure you that drivers do not care that you are crossing the road, so you must be vigilant. On many occasions I saw senior citizens trying to cross the street. This one old fellow with a cane broke my heart. He stepped off the curb several times only to be nearly hit by motorcycles and cars who did not even consider slowing let alone stopping to let the old man cross. My husband stopped for this guy and the driver behind us honked furiously! I was surprised. I always thought Italians had great respect for their elders. I guess that when it comes to driving, they respect no one.

Then there are the motorcycle and vespa drivers. They may be the worst. They weave in and out of traffic, pass on the roadside, have little patience and seem to think they are invincible!  If you are stopped at a red light, the bikers all swarm like killer bees to get to the front. There will easily be 20 bikes that will jokey for first spot. Speed limits in Italy tend to be a bit higher than they are in Canada, which for a guy like my hubby, he loves. Regularly he will drive 130 – 140 km per hour. Like at home the right lane is intended for slower traffic, the left for faster and those who want to pass. One time, Hubby was driving at 140 km/hr when a motorcycle came right up behind us. He flashed his light, then not even giving us time to react, he passed us on the left...on the shoulder! Within half a minute, the guy was no longer visible. He must have been going about 200km! On the autostrada, everyone drives too fast, they tail gate and honk. When you give some passing driver the evil eye, they just shrug their shoulders as if to say “Meh” and keep on going.

Parking is a whole other can of worms. Parking is really difficult. Spots are few and small. The bigger the city, the harder it is to find parking, but that is not to say that the small towns don’t have parking problems too. When we were in Napoli, we tried to find a spot for a good hour. Thank goodness for GPS locating a parking garage, but even still, with all of those one way streets and aggressive drivers, if you miss your turn, it could take a good 10 minutes just to get back to the spot you originally wanted.  There is also a problem with double parking. There are those people who think they are so friggin’ important that it is ok to trap another car by parking on the road right beside the legally parked car! These are the bastards that drive me nuts. They make travelling down already narrow and congested streets a nightmare. Every time we found a parking spot with relative ease, we would be nervous. Italian road signs are often misleading and you are never quite sure if you are parked legally. We did give up a few times and acted like locals and parked illegally. We were never ticketed.

What bothers me most about Italian drivers are the seamless disregard for safety and laws of the road. My father in law, a native Sicilian, insists that there are laws on the road, but I have never once seen a driver pulled over by the police. I did see a police car on the side of the highway, with its “officers” sleeping in the front!  As a mother living in Canada, I am thankful for all of the laws we have to keep us safe. Car seats for our kids, seat belts,and children not being allowed to sit in the front seat until they reach a certain age or height and weight requirement. In Italy, I saw nothing like this...at all. As a matter of fact, we even saw some of our family members whipping around town with their very young children in the back with no car seat or seat belt. We saw the car seat sitting in a back room of my husband cousin’s house, not in the car. The number of times that we saw parents driving vespas with a young child standing in the front made me ill. It was not uncommon to see an adult in the front seat of a car with an infant in their lap either. Really, why not just strap the kid to the grill of the car; it is just about as safe!

And finally there are the road signs. Often you will find way too many signs bunched together. If you sit at the intersection to read these signs, surely you will piss off some motorist. My advice, use GPS and listen to it, even if you think it is leading you down the path to hell. You will get to your destination....eventually.

As I write this post, I feel myself becoming anxious. Every time I was in the car I felt anxious. So here is a word to the wise. When in Italy, seriously consider using public transit (if you can figure it out). You will be somewhat safer and have fewer worries!

Adventures in Italy

I must apologize for my not posting for a while. I have been very busy, mostly with a 3 week vacation to Italy.

We left for Italy on May 28th and returned on June 20th. We had a great 3 week visit to a country that I love dearly. I love most everything about Italy. The landscape, architecture, food and the language. For years I have been obsessed with traveling to the country and learning what I can about the culture and enjoying La Dolce Vita.

I looked forward to this trip. Hubby and I had great plans to visit wonderful cities, shop, eat, drink and absorb as much of the Italian lifestyle as we could. The only problem, we have 2 children. Under normal circumstances, having kids is  not a problem at all, it is a joy, but on vacation it challenging (and that is the only polite way that I can put it).

We are fortunate to travel with my husbands parents to Italy and have family to stay with, so our costs stay down. We stayed just over a week on the Amalfi Coast (which I love) and enjoyed our time there (mostly). We visited such great cities as Positano, Naples, Avellino, Cava di Tirreni, Sorrento and Caserta. All great cities with wonderful things to see and an abundance of food to enjoy. We had plans from the offset to venture to most of these places on our own and bring the kids to only a few places. That was mistake number one! We should have NEVER brought the kids on excursions. From the minute they left the comfort of Zia's apartment they whined  non stop, "I want to go home", "I'm hungry", "I'm hot!", " I want to ruin your vacation". For a year I looked forward to visiting Sorrento. I thought it would be a good place to bring the kids. NOT! Even though we brought reinforcements with us, Zia, Nonna and a cousin they adore, they still bitched and moaned until I was in tears. I have no idea what Sorrento looked like. I did not get more that 5 photos from that whole trip....I spent the whole time at war with the kids.

When our time in Salerno (Amalfi Coast) we drove down to Sicily, where my husbands family is from. We were looking forward to the great Sicilian beaches, food, markets and seeing family. The bonus part was that Hubby's uncle let us stay at his daughters Villa as it is unoccupied most of the time because she lives in Milan full time. What a wonderful property. A large house with marble floors, 3 bedrooms, 2 bath, large kitchen, sun room and formal living and dining room. The house also offered great ourdoor living space complete with covered porches and a gated property to keep the kids nice and safe. There were even a few lemon trees, orange and olive trees too! There were an abundance of lizards flitting about to entertain the kids for hours. The place was perfect. Only a five minute drive from the sea, a shopping mall and other family members. It truely could not have been better.

While I say that I then am reminded that we were traveling with the kids, so like clockwork, just a day after settling into our accomodations the kids started to act up again. "I want to go to the beach", "I want Nonna", "I want gelato", "I want to make  your life miserable". We tried our best to keep them entertained by taking them to the beach or going our for gelato, but the moment we would step out into the burning sun (or Sicilian furnace as I call it) my daughter would throw a fit screaming that the sun hurt her, my son would cry that he was melting.

After having just spent the week before fighting with the kids on excursions, we chose to do most of the stuff on our own. We visited Siracusa, Ortigia, Catania, Palermo, Noto,  Ragusa, Enna and some other small towns near where we were staying.  This of course was wonderful. It was like a second honeymoon for the Hubby and myself. We only took the evil minion  to one town for a visit (and as expected they were miserable) and they enjoyed beach days and a day at a water park.

I don't like to bitch and moan. I am a fortunate person to have had the luxury to visit Italy 3 times in the last 5 years. I love the country from where my husbands family immigrated. If I won the lottery I would surely buy a vacation home there if not live there full time (if I could handle the driving, littering and general rudeness of people...but that is for another post). But I do not see myself returning for a long time...not until the kids can be left alone and we could be on our own completely. Here is my word of advice, if you can, vacation WITHOUT your kids when visiting Europe. Leave family vacations for Disney, Florida or a resort in Mexico.

Traveling with Kids....Prepare...Alot!

I am a lucky girl! I will be heading off to beautiful Italy at the end of the month with the family for a 3 week vacation. Just imagine the great food and sights, the culture, spending time with family! Sounds great right? Well, it is, but there is one stinky catch....preparing for the vacation.

Traveling is not as easy as it used to be when it was just my hubby and myself. Back before children, we would just toss some items in a bag and off we'd go. We did not spend a great deal of time planning out itineraries, worrying about entertainment on the plane or about food. We just went with the flow.

However, when you travel with 2 young children, you need to be armed with too many clothes, first aid kits, bug spray, videos and games, coloring books, reading books, toys, portable potty seats (that is a whole other story).   I am fortunate that my kids are great travelers, but an 8 hour flight is difficult on an adult let alone a young child.

I am one of those parents who brings way too many things with me, but my attitude is that I'd rather be over prepared than miss something crucial to our vacation survival. We went to Italy last summer and things went very smoothly. But our concern is that as the kids get older they are often harder to please. The airplane does not hold the same excitement that it has in the past. They get uncomfortable in those horrible seats, they can't stand the food that is served, and just the fact that for an 8 hour period they are restricted to sitting or the tiny closet they call 'lavatories' can become unbearable to the kids.

So in planning this trip we find ourselves traveling extra heavy this year. We determined that for our own sanity (and for other passengers) that we would carry 2 DVD players, a stack of movies of course, the kids both have Leapster Video games which are rather bulky. We have stocked up on 2 new coloring books and crayons for each child and one book each. We are also carrying some card games like Uno and Old Maid with us. I even found a small magnetic checkers set. Then there is the food that we will bring. At least 2 sandwiches each, a container of pasta, some cookies, crackers, apples, candy (for those moments you need them to behave) and drink boxes. Then we  have to bring the kids car seats with us! That is all the stuff we will carry just for the kids!

My carry on is the drug store. I will have my Sudafed, Otrivin, the ever important Gravol and Benadryl! Wipes for filthy hands, hand sanitizer, tissues, a book, a change of clothes for the kids, blow up travel pillows...the kitchen sink. My husband won't leave home without his laptop! And I could not go on vacation without my camera which is big and bulky too. So just imagine how burdened we will be, but I guess that in the end it will all be worth it!

Children's Parties Have Lost Their Appeal

I remember not that long ago, about 6 1/2 years to be exact, when the weekend came and it used to be mine, all mine. Once you have kids, the weekend becomes all about your family which is also wonderful. It is lovely being able to wake up in the borning, enjoy a leisurely breakfast, then choose what you would like to do for the day. As the kids get older you start to loose some of that freedom that you love about the weekend. The kids are scheduled for soccer, swimming or hockey. You notice that your kids social schedules also start to fill up.

In the last month and a half, my kids have been invited to 8 birthday parties. One weekend we had two! Now this should not be too big of a problem, it is just that I find your whole day revolves around your kid attending his/her friend's party. From the moment they wake until they lay their heads down at night all you hear about is "Bobby's" birthday. Quite frankly, unless the kid is a member of my family, I could not care less about some other kids birthday. But stupid me, I RSVP yes to all the invites lately. To date I have dished out over  $160 for inexpensive gifts for kids I do not know.

Why you ask, do I say yes to all these parties. Well, I don't have the heart to look into my beautiful son's eyes and tell him no. Also, since he goes to senior kindergarten and will be starting the first grade in September, I would like to meet some of the kids he plays with and their parents as well. Yes I admit, I am there basically to get the scoop on the parents and decide whether their child is worthy of being my kids friend. If a parent shows up drunk, dressed like a street walker, is rude and cusses at their kids, I put up my red flags and try to encourage my kid to play with the children of parents that I have given the thumbs up. Sometimes it is the other way around, perhaps the kid is just a total terd, there are some out there that are like that. No matter how nice the parent(s) may seem, their kid is just a brat. That is also a child that I do not want mine to play with.

This weekend my daughter is scheduled to attend a birthday party for a little boy in her nursery school. I chose to go to this party because I have gotten to know the Mom and extended family over the last two years that our kids have attended the day care. They are nice people, the boy is as cute as a button and a real joker too! I also like majority of the moms that bring their offspring to the nursery school. This to me looks more like a chance to socialize with the Mums than it does for Gaby to party with one of her many "boyfriends".

But I do have to say, I have now formed an opinion of most of the kids in my son's class as well as my daughters. This will be the last party of the year for my kids. Any more invitations will be given a no. I know this will break their little hearts, but frankly, I would rather spend money on a gift for my kid than for some random child. Besides, that time I waste at the party could be well spent cleaning my house, preparing a meal, shopping, sleeping or spending time with my family. Also the money I spend on a gift could buy a bottle of wine, and Lord knows I always need wine after one of these events!

Kids Do and Say The Funniest Things

If you are a parent, you understand that one of the greatest things about kids are the small things that they say or do. Sometimes they have you questioning your parenting style, other times you wonder where they learn some of the things they say (because we all know that WE as parents never say things that our kids will  pick up...right?!).

Case in  point. The other night my husband enjoyed a big bowl of peanuts. He likes the ones that he shells himself, so needless to say it can become rather messy. The following morning, Sebastian woke before the rest of the house. He obviously came downstairs to watch some cartoons and walked across peanut shell remnants and was ticked off because he proceeded to write a note for my husband. It is also obvious that this amazing 6 year old boy has heard me bitch and complain about the mess often enough to think he was doing me a favor.

 When I asked Sebastian why he wrote the note he said "there was a friggin' mess every where. It is gross. So I told Daddy he is not allowed to have peanuts any more!" Brilliant! My husband swears that he will now clean up after his peanut munching so that he doesn't have to find bossy notes from his son!
Thanks Sebastian!

Mommy and Gaby Time

My daughter wanted to take some pictures of us together the other week. We decided to make funny faces and share kisses. This is the adorable outcome .... much less depressing than my last post!

March Break.....Madness!!!!

Well we are now 2 days into "March Break" and I officially want to dive into a bottle of wine and not come up for air until Sunday!

Like many parents out there, you feel a great deal of pressure to entertain your precious angels during the winter break (aka nervous break) with outings, crafts, movies, dinners out....you try to give them an amazing week of fun and entertainment. Now I am not saying that my adorable offspring are spoiled rotten (except the little one...she IS a bit of a  DIVA), and I try not to give into their every demand. But like most mom's I asked what they would like to do with their time off from school. Of course the answers were typical for their 6 and 3 year old mindset. "Let's go to the zoo Mommy!"...sure a good idea...if  you would walk and not expect me to pull you along in the wagon (essentially dragging a good 80lbs of dead weight). "Let's do some crafts!"....sure...if you didn't get paint everywhere else other than the paper it was intended for. 

Today's activity was an excursion to Reptilia. A small "zoo" housing reptiles and amphibians. The kids really enjoy seeing all of the snakes, lizards, crocs and what not. But the walk through takes only about an hour, and that is if you linger at an exhibit or two! Of course, like most touristy places, the venue has a "gift shop", right at the exit of the "zoo". I normally avoid these shops like the plague, but today, I decided to reward my sweet children for being so good while we walked through the exhibit.  I bought them each a snake (which they later used as weapons in the car). So for 1 hour I dished out $40 to see some snakes and lizards! I also stopped at a small municipal airport so the kids could see the planes. They were fortunate enough to see an Air Ambulance loading a patient and taking off. They were sooo excited. They stood just a few feet away from the chopper and got a real sense of how load and windy it would be. I thought for sure I was going to be a hero, that they would do whatever I asked them to! Yeah, I am one big fool!

Alas it was time to eat. Sebastian asked if we could go to Burger King. Sure...I have been dieting, but I will give in for the love of my kids (not the Whopper). We place our order, sit down to eat and all hell broke loose. The kids started fighting with each other, refused to eat their food, whined and cried about everything. I packed up the food and we left.  Let the buggers starve.

On the way home I had to stop to get some milk and bread. Rather than drag the whining little shits through the grocery store, I opted to pop into one of those super drugstores. The touched everything they could get their hands on. My daughter grabbed an ovulation test kit and yells out "Mommy I want this!". My son tried to play hide and seek and I lost him 3 times (this all in a span of about 5 minutes). By the time I reached the cash with my bag of milk I felt like holding up the chemist for Zanax! We got back in the car, the snakes became weapons again, my son picked his nose until it bled and Gabriella would not stop singing the "ABC's".

Needless to say the minute I arrived  home, I turned on the boob tube, sat them in front of it, poured a glass of wine and tried to hold back my tears. I calmed down, came to the computer to rant here a bit, then realized that I still have 5 more days of this hell!

Someone, please put me out of my misery!

What The Hell Were They Thinking?!

Children are amazing. As any parent out there will tell you, they never cease to amaze you. Often times it is just something as simple as a smile that catches you off guard, of perhaps they snuck a cookie from the jar or ate a dog biscuit. Kids are so eager to learn about the world around them, that they don't let societal rules and regulations stop them from their quest for knowledge. Sometimes it is a crazy thing that the ankle bitter will say that just cracks  you up or embarrasses the hell out of you (like the other day while at the grocery store my son says rather loudly, "Mommy, did you fart?"). Or maybe you are shocked when you discover that your son took a pair of scissors and cut his own hair and applied your new lipstick to the walls for good measure. Kids are incredible!

The most recent case of What The Hell Were They Thinking happened just yesterday. Twice in fact. Once from my son and the other time courtesy of my daughter.
With Sebastian it went something like this.....I went into the powder room to use the facilities and was overcome by the strong smell of urine. I had cleaned the bathroom just a few short hours before, so knew that it wasn't dirty. I checked Gabriella's potty to see if it was full and it was not. I sniffed around and found the source of the stink to be coming from the waste basket. I stuck my head in there and was nearly knocked over by the stench. I looked closer and noticed the tissues in it were all wet. I pulled one out and sure enough it was saturated with pee! I then asked my little girl "Gaby did you empty your potty into the garbage can?" She innocently and honestly replied "No Mommy" then looked at her brother. Sebastian slowly started to slink behind a pillow on the sofa. "Sebastian, did Gaby put pee in the garbage can?" The answer I got was a whine, or sound similar to a cat meowing. "Sebastian, did you empty the potty into the garbage?". He hides even further into the sofa, now covering himself with two big pillows.  "Sebastian, did you pee in the garbage can?". "Yes" said his tiny little voice from underneath his protective cover of pillows. WTF! Now if he were 2 or 3 years old, I could excuse such behavior, but this boy is 6! After my tirade about not peeing anywhere but in the toilet, he helped me clean the mess and life went back to normal.

Just a few hours later, when my husband returned home from work, we were in the kitchen preparing dinner. As I was setting the table I overheard Gabriella talking to her daddy about her day and what not, when all of a sudden I heard "Eeeeewwww Penisssss!". I turned around to see what was going on and found my husband slapping her hand away from his crotch! I asked Corrado what she did and he said, face all ashen and visibly shaken,  that she reached her tiny little hand out and cupped his family jewels and said "Eeeeeewwwww Penis!". My husband looked as though he had seen a ghost. He was so disturbed that I had to pour him a glass of wine!

Like I said, kids never cease to amaze me. The things they do and say are always worth keeping a record of....great black mail material for their hormone driven teen years!

Sick Kids, Blown Stoves and Stupid People

It has been a bit of time since I last posted anything. It hasn't been months or years, it feels like it though. One of the things I have grown to love about blogging is that it is somewhat therapeutic. It gives me a forum where I can rant and rave or get all moon eyed over some camera gear, all without disturbing my family.

I have enjoyed searching for content for the blog and dressing it up so it is all cute and whatnot. My content may  not be up to par with the top bloggers out there, but I am not looking to make a living out of this. Just to escape my everyday bullshit. It was that everyday shite that kept me away from here for a few (long) days.
But shit is what I have had lately. Both of my kids have been sick. In fact we have been riddled with illness for over a month now. First it was a stomach flu which was no walk in the park. I was knee deep in puke for about a week as both the kids cycled through the bug twice!! Then I thought I was in the clear but then my little one ended up with a fever of 103 on Friday morning. I was lucky to get  her into the pediatrician (which is much more like a zoo than a medical office). The poor thing was diagnosed with strep throat and a bronchial infection.  To make matters even worse, my stove blew its element this weekend and also blew the circuit board. I had nothing to cook on. This is not a good thing when you have 2 kids who are picky eaters and demand pasta at least once a day. Then my poor husband thought he would keel over from malnutrition. Sure I could use my microwave but I'd rather eat rubber than food that comes out of that box. So I had to bbq everything, which is great, but not when it is sub zero outside!

On Sunday and my daughter wanted to come along. She now has a terrible hacking cough. I popped into the grocery store/drug store (yeah one of those super centers) to pick up some supplies when Gaby had a coughing fit. As we were walking down the isle and she was coughing I saw this woman look at us with disdain and fear in her eyes. She turned her cart around and went the opposite direction. Now I can assure you, I did not know this woman, never saw her before, I am sure I could never have offended her in anyway. I could only conclude that she did not want to walk by the germ breading factory that is my 3 year. I was actually miffed at first, but then chuckled. This is what society has come to. We fear every germ, every virus like it going to kills us! I personally think it is ridiculous. I bet that woman, pushing her germ infested shopping cart did not disinfect  her hands before she touched it. I would also bet that along the way she coughed or sneezed old school into her hands. I bet she didn't wash her hands after going to the potty! But this woman was afraid of a coughing 3 year old. Well to that frigid lady I say "AAAAAhHHaaahHHH CCCHHHOOOOOO!" all over her snotty little hands!

I have ranted. I am free.