50 Shades of Shite

After much anticipation I finally indulged in my not so secret passion for 50 Shades of Grey. As most of you know, I am a lover of the book series by E.L. James. I even went so far as to have my own fantasy cast for the movie! I was stunned that Jamie Dornan was cast as the mysteriously kinky Christian Grey. Frankly I just couldn't see it. When the promotional material began to flood the television and internet, Dornan grew on me but Dakota Johnson, not so much.

Being the frugal lady I am, I waited until I could rent the movie on demand. It was actually my viewing pleasure for Mother's Day. My poor husband indulged me and even sat with me to watch the movie. Well, that is $7 and 2 hours I will never get back. I was so disappointed in the cast. Dornan was barely able to pull off an American accent let alone hide his Irish lilt. While I enjoy looking at Jamie Dornan and that toned body, the guy couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag. Johnson was like a dead fish. Lifeless. Boring. No passion. She stank. Actually, neither actor portrayed great passion for a film that is all about passion. I just didn't feel it. The sex scenes were ok. They had to be tamed for obvious reasons but still they lacked that kink that I came to associate with Christian Grey.

My husband fell asleep within the first 20 minutes of the movie while I struggled to stay awake. What is worse is they ended that joke of a movie on the insinuation that there would be a follow up movie! Seriously, will they put out another piece of shite like that? Just sayin', if you need a fix of Christian Grey...reread the book and skip the movie, what you imagine in your mind would be far more powerful than the drivel they served up on the silver screen.

50....what is that?

I want to share a recent discovery with you all. Those who have been with me for a while know that I developed a taste for (clears throat) smut. Yes, I admit that thanks to E.L. James and her creation of Christian Grey, I jumped on the mom porn books wagon and have read more than I care to admit.

Anyway, in my never ending quest to discover new smutty reads and find a good laugh I came across a Twitter account that had me chuckling at the clever spoof on the sexy novel. Good for a laugh, check out @FiftyShedsOfGrey.

I hope you enjoy them as much as I have. While on Twitter you may also want to check out @FiftyShadesOfGran and me of course @mammagoddess

I'm on Twatter...I mean Twitter

Just reminding my loyal readers that I am in Twatter...I mean Twitter! Sheesh. I have no idea why I feel compelled to call it Twatter! It just seems right! Must say something about the twats that are twatting. I hope I don't come off as a twat...Oh Balls...I think I just did!

**Deep breath***

Now I have regained focus and would like to invite you to follow me on Twitter as well.

The Mamma Goddess (@mammagoddess) | Twitter

https://twitter.com/mammagoddess

The latest Tweets from The Mamma Goddess (@mammagoddess). Wife, mother, fierce woman. GODDESS!

Humpday Motivation

It is the middle of the work/school week. For many, the weekend couldn't come soon enough. I know my husband and kids would agree with that sentiment.

So to those who need a little boost, encouraging and thoughtful motivation and maybe a little kick in the ass, I give you Humpday Motivations.

These wise words are just a gentle reminder to not put so much pressure on yourself. You can't be the best at everything nor can you fulfill everyone's wishes. Take a deep breath, grab a spoon and the Nutella jar...you deserve it!

Get your nom on with this lemon garlic chicken!

Lebanese Lemon Garlic Chicken and Potatoes

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am fanatical about my love for all things lemon. I love the vibrant yellow colour, the crisp clean scent, the tangy sour deliciousness that they yield. Recently I also discovered a love for Mediterranean/Middle Eastern food thanks to a great restaraunt in Toronto, Ontario called Byblos. It was in that fine establishment that I developed a serious taste for the fresh, vibrant flavours of Egyptian and Lebanese cruise.

That single dining experience resulted in countless hours of scouring the Internet in search of as many recipes as I could find. One such recipe I came across for Lebanese Lemon Garlic Chicken. When I read the ingredient list I thought it would be a great recipe to have under my belt as most of the time I had the ingredients in the house.

So I whipped it up, quite easily I might add, and BAM! Instant hit. The dish is pungent with garlic, this is not date night food, so if you want to get lucky I suggest you hold off on this dish. The tang of the lemon brightened the dish and the addition of a middle eastern 7 spice mix topped it all off to perfection.

An easy to make one dish meal that is sure to please most guests, except for your vampire friends.

Lebanese Baked Garlic Chicken with Potatoes Recipe: Baked Garlic Chicken and Potatoes – Djej w Batata Bil Sayniyyeh Summary: A traditional garlic chicken dish from Lebanon. Baked Garlic Chicken Ingredients (4 servings) INGREDIENTS 4 lbs of chicken legs/quarters/breasts (I prefer thighs) 5 medium potatoes 20 cloves of garlic (or 1.5 heads) (this is the amount the original recipe calls for. Too much for me so I use half the garlic...purely up to you) 1 cup of freshly squeezed lemon juice 4 table spoons of olive oil salt to taste 2 tsp Lebanese 7-spices INSTRUCTIONS 1. Rinse chicken and pat dry with paper towels. 2. Make cuts in chicken in order to allow for the spices and garlic sauce to seep deep inside. 3. Rub chicken with a table spoon or two of olive oil, a pinch of salt, and 1 tsp Lebanese 7-spices. Quickly sear the chicken to add colour and flavour. About 5 minutes, then transfer to baking dish. 4. Peel potatoes then cut them in disks of about 1/2 inch, salt lightly. 5. Place chicken on bottom of baking tray (preferably metal), place potatoes on top, sprinkle with remaining spice blend and bake at 400F (medium heat) for about 30 minutes. 6. Meanwhile place the garlic cloves, 1/2 teaspoon of salt and 2-3 table spoons of olive oil in a blender/food processor and spin for 4-5 minutes, add the lemon juice and spin for another 4-5 minutes until you have a nice lemony-garlicky sauce. 7. Once the chicken has baked 30 minutes, take the tray out of the oven and very carefully drain any excess liquids/fat/water that you see on the bottom. 8. Pour the garlic sauce all over it while mixing it well with the potatoes, put back in the oven and bake for another 10 - 15 minutes until the potatoes turn start to brown. 9. Serve warm. 10. Note: You may need to consume an unusually large quantity of toothpaste afterwards.

Sharpie mug follow up

Hey all! I did it! I took a sharpie to a clean white mug and defaced that bugger. Let me tell you, it was almost therapeutic. I scribbled down some slightly rude and colourful words and sayings, just for the hell of it.

Rather than bake the mug for 30 minutes I left it for a full hour.

In the end, it looked great...except my writing sucks. I hand washed it and the ink stayed put. I ran it through the dishwasher and I am happy to report that the ink remained. 

It has been about 3 weeks since I did this little project and the ink has started to fade and come off.

I read somewhere that Sharpies come in an oil base. I haven't bothered to look but if they do I would think that would be more permanent.

DIY Sharpie Mugs

I recently discovered the Sharpie mug craze. I will admit, I am eager to jump on the band wagon. I love simple crafts like this that are cheap, easy and can say so much with little expense or effort. These mugs are great for kids who want their own personal mug for hot chocolate or need to give their favourite teacher a Christmas gift. 

So I have decided to give it a go. I read somewhere along the way that the usual suggested 30 minutes of baking wasn't enough, that doing so for an hour would ensure the permanency of the ink. I am first going to try the basic black sharpie and bake for an hour. Then I will wash it both by hand and dishwasher, microwave it, bleach it. See if it truly is permanent. 

I found other suggestions that might work better as well. Apparently Sharpie has oil based markers, and the ones in metallic work well. I am going to pick one up as well and write on the other side of my test mug to see which marker holds up.

Wish me luck! I am not a crafty lady but I think I can actually pull this off.

Here is a link to a great blog that offered good tips for the project.

http://thegoldjellybean.com/2013/01/testing-out-diy-sharpie-mugs.html

Ciao for now!

Lee-Ann