50 Shades of Shite

After much anticipation I finally indulged in my not so secret passion for 50 Shades of Grey. As most of you know, I am a lover of the book series by E.L. James. I even went so far as to have my own fantasy cast for the movie! I was stunned that Jamie Dornan was cast as the mysteriously kinky Christian Grey. Frankly I just couldn't see it. When the promotional material began to flood the television and internet, Dornan grew on me but Dakota Johnson, not so much.

Being the frugal lady I am, I waited until I could rent the movie on demand. It was actually my viewing pleasure for Mother's Day. My poor husband indulged me and even sat with me to watch the movie. Well, that is $7 and 2 hours I will never get back. I was so disappointed in the cast. Dornan was barely able to pull off an American accent let alone hide his Irish lilt. While I enjoy looking at Jamie Dornan and that toned body, the guy couldn't act his way out of a wet paper bag. Johnson was like a dead fish. Lifeless. Boring. No passion. She stank. Actually, neither actor portrayed great passion for a film that is all about passion. I just didn't feel it. The sex scenes were ok. They had to be tamed for obvious reasons but still they lacked that kink that I came to associate with Christian Grey.

My husband fell asleep within the first 20 minutes of the movie while I struggled to stay awake. What is worse is they ended that joke of a movie on the insinuation that there would be a follow up movie! Seriously, will they put out another piece of shite like that? Just sayin', if you need a fix of Christian Grey...reread the book and skip the movie, what you imagine in your mind would be far more powerful than the drivel they served up on the silver screen.

50....what is that?

I want to share a recent discovery with you all. Those who have been with me for a while know that I developed a taste for (clears throat) smut. Yes, I admit that thanks to E.L. James and her creation of Christian Grey, I jumped on the mom porn books wagon and have read more than I care to admit.

Anyway, in my never ending quest to discover new smutty reads and find a good laugh I came across a Twitter account that had me chuckling at the clever spoof on the sexy novel. Good for a laugh, check out @FiftyShedsOfGrey.

I hope you enjoy them as much as I have. While on Twitter you may also want to check out @FiftyShadesOfGran and me of course @mammagoddess

Gabriel's Inferno Series Reviewed by Mammagoddess

As I have mentioned in a few other posts in the past I have found a love, a kinship if you will, with romantic novels. Not just any novels mind you, I will admit, I like them spicy, racy perhaps even taboo, not unlike 50 Shades of Gray which started my obsession.

I have read countless books since I discovered Christian and Anna over a year ago. I would venture a guess that it is nearing 100 books now! As a result I have really been able to peg down what it is that I like in a romance/erotica novel.

As you may have noticed the trend in many books it that they be written I a continuing series. Not sure how I feel about that and I think that is for another discussion. As this is the case with many of the novels I have read it has taken me forever to complete and form an opinion on a book, its characters and events.

One such series was Gabriel's Inferno by Sylvain Reynard. I absolutely adored this series. I waited for what felt like a lifetime to receive the final instalment to the series and was not disappointed. Sylvain Reynard is one talented writer. He can tell a tale of romance, broken hearts and dreams. He drew me into the story of Gabriel and Julia to the point that I was attached to these characters.

In the first book of the series, Gabriel's Inferno, we are introduced to graduated student Julia Mitchell and Dante specialist and Professor Gabriel Emerson who had crossed paths many years prior. Of course Gabriel has a lurid history and many events lead him to believe that his meeting with young Julia was just a hallucination. For years Gabriel pines for what he believes to be a figment of his imagination.

Julia has loved Gabriel since she was a teenager. Years later they are brought together at the University of Toronto and reconnect over their love of Dante and a shared past.

Both characters are complicated, having suffered in the past and struggle to find their way together. I like how Reynard builds up the passion between the couple. The first novel in the series is actually relatively sex free! Oh my! There are some intense kissing scenes but not until the very end of the book do they consummate their relationship, yet you can't feel anything but butterflies in your tummy when you think of Professor Emerson!


In Gabriel's Rapture, the couple struggle to keep their relationship going while they encounter adversaries and drama all around them. This novel is full of heartbreak and I admit I was pissed off at Emerson at one point! Julia grew to irritate me at time, she just seemed way too weak for me and I really wanted to cuff her upside the head, but in all, I felt for the couple and wanted their love to only grow.

Nearly a year later the final instalment of the series, Gabriel's Redemption was released. I was so excited I finished it in one day! I will admit though, that I am not sure the final book was necessary, it just felt like the authors attempt to appease readers and give them more of their beloved characters even though their story had been told. I did enjoy the book, but honestly wouldn't have missed it if I didn't know to expect it.

In all what captivated me about the series was the telling of a tale of two people who were damaged souls. Gabriel and Julia had been through some traumatic experiences that shaped who they were as adults and therefore how they dealt with love and relationships. This story proved that if you work towards a common goal, trust in your partner and most importantly forgive their past sins, that you could overcome the most troublesome obstacles.


On the spicy meter from 1 to 5, this book receives a 2 1/2. It was not erotic but the author managed to create the illusion of eroticism without even really going down the path. Powerfully suggestive!

This is a great book for a person who might find the hardcore sex scenes of books like 50 Shades of Gray or Bared To You, to be a little too intense and tacky. It is a wonderful love story with hints of passion sprinkled throughout.

I highly recommend the series and give it 2 thumbs up!

David Gandy is Dandy and my choice for Christian Grey

I have been a busy girl lately, I am going to hesitantly admit that I succumbed to pressure to read 50 Shades Of Grey. That's right! This self professed anti-romance novel reader has fallen in love with the story of Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, so much so that after reading the trilogy I longed for another book that was similar to Grey.

That search led me to Bared To You and Reflected In You by Sylvia Day. Again, for the most part I fell in love with the characters, especially Gideon Cross. Once I was done with that spicey bit of Mommy Porn, I found myself reading Gabriel's Inferno and Gabriel's Rapture by Sylvain Raynard. I adored the story of Gabriel and Julia just as much as that of Christian and Ana.

It came as a very very big surprise to me that I would enjoy books like 50 Shades, but I think it was just what this desperate housewife needed to put a pep...uh hum...in her step! Now that I have admitted in a very public forum that I have read Mommy Porn, I am now going to admit something else that is a tad embarrassing, I have also been mentally casting the movie of 50 Shades Of Grey.
From my searches on the web I have seen many suggestions for who should play Christian Grey, and honestly most of the men just don't cut the mustard. When it comes to overall looks and handsome swagger Matt Bomer, would certainly make a good choice and he is a decent actor. Matt's best quality is his eyes, they are captivating. He is very handsome and rocks a suit, but for me he is just a tad too soft.

My perfect Christian Grey would be much more macho looking, but still have an air of sophistication. I am not a fan of Ian Somerhalder, sure he is OK looking but lacks that edge that Christian has.
Ryan Gosling is another that has been suggested for the part, while he could certainly play Christian very well without a doubt, he just does not have the looks. Chaning Tatum....um no, not doing it for me either. Henry Cavill is also a good choice, but I see him more as Gideon Cross.

But, I do love...and I mean love...the kind of love that if he showed up at my door I'd run off into the sunset with him kind of love...Joe Manganiello. He is so sexy, but sadly I don't think he would have the polish or charm to pull the role off, plus he might be just a tad too beef cake for the part.

So while I was searching the web for the best man for the job I encountered David Gandy. For those of you who are not familiar with the name, you may know him as the man in the white pants from the Dolce and Gabbana Light Blue adds....yeah....that guy! I did a little more looking into him and am now obsessed with the British born super model. I have had restless nights thinking about this man! He is the perfect man. He is tall, has a muscular athletic build, piercing blue eyes, perfect lips, and even a little scar near his eye that puts him over the top in sexiness. While Gandy really is not an actor, and I doubt that he would even be able to pull off Christian Grey, I certainly picture his gorgeous face and body when I read 50 Shades...again for the 4th time!

The Dolce and Gabbana add that made David Gandy famous.

David Gandy is the most famous male supermodel....check out those eyes....

David Gandy would look smoking hot as Christian Grey, imagine him misusing the company airplane

Those eyes...those cheek bones....oh and he has a sexy accent too!

What can I say about this.....

If David Gandy can't fill Christians shoes I would nominate him to play Gideon Cross of the Bared To You novel or even better as the sexy professor Gabriel Emerson from Gabriel's Inferno. If he is not interested in those roles he could be my new boyfriend....just a thought....fantasy....what was I saying.....need to take a cold shower now!

My Crush on Dave Grohl....Is this normal at my age?

When I was a teenager I had so many "crushes" on boys at school or Hollywood celebs it was nauseating. The walls of my bedroom were plastered with posters of Johnny Depp, River Phoenix and Michael Hutchins (INXS). For hours I would day dream about one day meeting one of these hunks and have him fall madly in love with me. Sadly that never did happen.

In my twenties I had a few crushes, but my infatuations with celebrities came to an end. Sure I thought Brad Pitt was a hunk, I still do. But I did not fantasize about him. I had crushes on real men now. Of course these were just the guys I would chase more for the game than to actually catch him. Then I met my hubby when I was 23. We started dating and all the men in the world no longer interested me.

Now I am 39 years old and finding myself developing a crush on a celebrity. It is the funniest thing. I feel the same way I did when I was 15 and loved Johnny Depp! I get all excited looking for any bit of information on the person as I can find. In this case my crush is on Dave Grohl, the front man, uber awesome musician and rock God of the Foo Fighters. I find this so humorous because it seems silly to crush on a man who is a tad older than I am, who is married with children and frankly he is not Brad Pitt. But he has the boyish charm or sillyness about him that I just can't resist!

I have long been a fan of Dave Grohl from his days as the drummer for Nirvana to present. I have followed his career closely and have always admired him. But trouble started brewing with the release of the Foo Fighters latest album Wasting Light. The first song released just got me. I was ensnared. Then I watched the documentary Back and Forth that they released and decided at that point that I love Dave Grohl. He appears to be a regular guy who just happens to be a rock star. He seems normal for lack of better word. He often displays a great sense of humor which is probably what caused this crush of mine in the first place. From the funny Foo video's to Fresh Pots, Suing Scissor Sisters and Hot Buns....Dave Grohl proves he is a funny guy.

I have taken my fondness for Dave Grohl and all things Foo Fighters and am trying diligently to shove it down my husbands throat. I am forcing him to have a man crush on Dave Grohl and I have him pretty hooked! I figure I just can't look like a fool all by myself....strength in numbers and all.

So all these thoughts of running off with Mr. Grohl into the sunset are pretty childish, it begs to question, is this normal? Is it normal for a happily married woman of my age to crush on a rock star? Please tell me I am somewhat normal! I also wonder, how many other gals out there are like me, who do you have a crush on?

So this near middle aged woman will shuffle off now and browse for some more You Tube content featuring Dave Grohl while my kids stare at me all bewildered "Mommy do you know that guy, you watch him a lot on the computer".

xoxo Mr. Grohl

Who Said Moms Aren't Sexy!? - It Just Takes 5 Minutes!

by Aurelia Williams


Whether you are a stay at home mom, work at home mom or a mom
that works outside of the home, between running the kids to and
from activities, making dinner, and doing loads of laundry, few
moms have time to pamper themselves. Suddenly, its been six
weeks since you've shaved your legs, your hair has absolutely no
style, and you feel as desirable as a cockroach at the dinner
table. There's just no way you can take time for yourself,
especially enough time to make yourself feel sexy and alive
again, right? Well, you may not be able to spend a week at the
spa, but there are plenty of five minute tricks that can make
you look good. After all, sometimes, knowing that you look good
is the key to feeling great.



If you haven't been able to make it to your stylist for a while,
chances are your hair is getting long and kind of limp. However,
there are hair styles that are sleek and sophisticated and only
take a few minutes to do. Try styling your hair so that it is in
a French roll or a French braid. You won't believe how knowing
that your hair looks spectacular will make you feel.



So, your hair is done, but you still feel a little blah. Are you
wearing a housedress or a set of ratty pajamas? Just because you
can dress down doesn't always mean you should. Instead, look for
easy care separates that go with everything. Make sure you pick
up a few simple accessories, like a matching bracelet and
earrings, too. No matter how hectic your day is, you will feel
like you can handle things if you look put together.



Of course, most women agree that there are few experiences that
are more romantic and relaxing than soaking in the tub
surrounded by scented candles. However, busy moms know that the
second they slide into the tub, there are several children
pounding frantically on the door because they want mommy to help
them and daddy just won't do. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy
a hot shower using your favorite scented bath and shower gel,
though. After you step out of the shower, use a lotion with the
same scent. You'll smell fantastic for hours, whether you're
sorting laundry or taking a moment to flirt with your man.



Finally, even if you only have five minutes to spare, make sure
you squeeze some exercise into the day. Exercising not only
tones your body and helps you look great, but it releases
endorphins that make you feel great, too.


Source: http://www.PopularArticles.com/article38887.html